I am autistic

I have been gradually coming out since my recent diagnosis and this place feels like the next logical place. There are a few people here who have "known" me for nearly 20 years. Kalimol has known me a little longer. That blows my mind.

About a year and a half ago, we started reading up in ADHD, suspecting that one of our daughters might have it and as I read about it, I couldn't unsee the way it was describing my life. I diagnosed myself and felt like, "Well, no I understand, but I'm not going to let it be a big deal" That was really naive. The truth is that it has been defining me for decades without me knowing and every relationship in my life is affected. I finally decided I needed to get a diagnosis and treatment, which happened last October. In a lot of ways medication has helped, but when I became more able to focus, I began focusing more on things that weren't what I was really supposed to focus on, causing some tension for me. And there were symptoms that I felt like I understood, but that were not explained by ADHD.

A month ago, I got tested for both at a more sophisticated testing center. They confirmed ADHD, combined type and also diagnosed me with Autism Spectrum Disorder.

I have talked to several people in my life that weren't shocked at all. One who said, "Yeah, I didn't think it was my place to say anything". I haven't talked to anyone yet that I didn't think would be supportive. I don't know how to make a conclusion paragraph, because I don't have a conclusion. When I first got the diagnosis it felt like a relief, but with a little more time it isn't as relieving as it was at first. I have lived 44 years undiagnosed and I am totally able to take care of myself and have had a successful life. But there is a lot of material to reanalyze in a new perspective.

There are shades. You could just be a shade that's very high-functioning. 44 years and you didn't know it, I'm only guessing here, but yeah, it sounds like your one of the lighter shades of autistic.

My brothers autistic too. He's had to have staff to make sure he's not doing anything he shouldn't be (too much sugar, make sure he keep hygiene up, etc.) but he's also considered high functioning (he can at least socialize whereas more severe cases tend to have a hard time socializing.

All that to say, yeah, it's a bit of a life changer to find something like this out. It's probably like "oh great, here's another label to pin on my life." But I guess the good news is, you've lived with this for 44 years and didn't even know it. So really, there's no reason it should rule your life now.

Well, rule your life anymore than it already did.

Functionally: nothing has really changed. You've gotten some meds which are supposed to help you be a more successful you, but you're still the same person you were before. An intelligent, well spoken, interesting and thoughtful individual whom we here love for and care about.

Welcome to the club. I'd make a joke, but frankly it's not funny.
I will just say this. Even though you're 44 and have your life together, be careful who you "come out" to. Autism can absolutely be held against you

*hugs*

We are glad that you feel comfortable here to let us know.

It's understandable to feel weird about it. I went 40 years before getting on meds for my ADHD, partly because I kept telling myself that I didn't need them. I did just fine as I was. My mind was changed when I found out that a whole host of issues I dealt with were very likely due to untreated ADHD. Nothing that ruined my life, but a lot that made things harder.

Point is, yeah, it can feel weird to take on new therapy when you've been doing 'just fine', but that doesn't make it any less valid a need. You don't need to be crippled to have real problems or get help for them.

Out on Facebook

RFK isn't going to find a cure for autism cause he already has one. You don't use this much blatantly false allegory unless you're getting ready to do something powerfully horrible and distasteful.

Like appoint his favorite hatchet case to work on things?
Hope the concentration camps they send us to is ready. You put enough of us anywhere and we are going to cause absolute ******* havoc.

I’m struggling how to phrase this so that I don’t come across as any more of an ass than I already tend to…

First, I’m glad you got answers and are getting help to manage your issues.


But I’m far less thrilled at how autism is being so bandied about so readily. My brother is a “classical” non-verbal autistic who requires 24/7 care. He’s a 35 year old with the functionality of a 3 year old. My family has struggled for YEARS to manage his issues with the myriad of other issues we face (health issues, financial issues, etc). To be brutally frank, I’m probably on the spectrum.
But it also feels like “Autism Spectrum Disorders” have expanded to the point that being diagnosed as “autistic” is having less and less meaning. Almost any “neurodivergent” issues can be lumped under the Autism Spectrum, and I think that’s going to make actually treating and addressing people (like my brother) more and more difficult as “autism” is going to become the next “handicap“.

Why would care not be tailored to the needs of the patient? I'm not taking up any resources. Autism made me better. Do you fear that people will start to tell your brother "So what? Everybody's autistic these days"?

-=-=-

You don't get the full weight of what RFK Jr said unless you watch video of him saying. Dude's a picture of health...

Again, your thread was probably not the best venue to post that. It’s just been a long simmering frustration fueled by how current mainstream media and the crazies are addressing it. I think my fear is that, unless physically presented with him IN PERSON, simply being labeled as Autistic is going to make him (and those with significant development issues) ARE not going to be addressed as seriously as they might. It feels like as news reports come out saying how more and more are diagnosed as autistic, it’s having the effect of “fueling” conspiracy nuts that it’s a “disease” or “condition” with a set cure when it’s not.

Also, I’ve seen/read enough of RFK to know he’s a damned conspiracy idiot, and working in healthcare, makes me LITERALLY Sick that he’s overseeing so much of the healthcare system.

I have absolutely no problem with you airing anything on the subject in "my thread". It is actually 3 years old and I just brought it back because the RFK thing led me to come out on Facebook this morning, but I'm perfectly willing for this to be the "Let's talk about autism" thread.

Steevy Maximus said:

I’m struggling how to phrase this so that I don’t come across as any more of an ass than I already tend to…

First, I’m glad you got answers and are getting help to manage your issues.


But I’m far less thrilled at how autism is being so bandied about so readily. My brother is a “classical” non-verbal autistic who requires 24/7 care. He’s a 35 year old with the functionality of a 3 year old. My family has struggled for YEARS to manage his issues with the myriad of other issues we face (health issues, financial issues, etc). To be brutally frank, I’m probably on the spectrum.
But it also feels like “Autism Spectrum Disorders” have expanded to the point that being diagnosed as “autistic” is having less and less meaning. Almost any “neurodivergent” issues can be lumped under the Autism Spectrum, and I think that’s going to make actually treating and addressing people (like my brother) more and more difficult as “autism” is going to become the next “handicap“.

Click to expand...

This is why I'm so against them removing specific diagnosis, like Aspergers, and just rolling everything under the general heading of 'autism'. It dilutes the term, makes it meaningless while at the same time putting it in position to be used as a derogatory term.
I much prefer specificity. Especially when we are talking about medical conditions. Be specific, it doesn't matter if some people are offended by who or what something is named after.

I think the trouble that they ran into is that specificity was going to require 180 names that no one was going to learn and that any way you tried to do it would give false impressions. An individual spoke wheel diagram can give the specifics and needs for an individual person, but short of that in most cases it is unhelpful to present it as mild to severe on one dimension. Even "Aspergers" that was generally used as shorthand for mild cases did not function as much more than a general warning because it doesn't tell you how someone is mildly affected.

It is tempting to imagine that we can look at my DNA and say THIS is Axaday's baseline and THIS is how it got changed by autism. We don't know enough to do something like that and it is probably a fool's errand anyway. Because it ISN'T a disease that snuck in along the way. There may be factors that influenced the expressions of genes, but in some form autism was already a part of my genes. The purpose of this paragraph is just to acknowlege that the next paragraph is attempting to describe truth using a model that isn't really real because me without autism is not a real thing to compare to.

It appears that autism has enhanced my memory organization and capacity. It appears that autism has enhanced my ability to measure, analyze, and emulate sounds. It appears that autism has enhanced my spatial reasoning and cognitive processing speed and pattern recognition. Because I test on and/or experience the very high end on those things. I could wish those "edits" were more severe than they are. I think to think that they ARE rather severe! I am pretty sure my diagnosis concentrates more on my weaknesses than my strengths. Autism seems to have depressed my ability to observe and process other people's emotions. It seems to have depressed my ability to adjust to changes that I don't expect or understand. I could wish for these to be milder, but compared to many other autistic people they are mild. So in the past the doctor would have diagnosed me with Aspergers Syndrome. To anyone I shared that with, it could serve as a warning that I am a little bit off, but not too much of a worry, but it wouldn't really be very useful because when I actually wanted an accommodation I may run into someone who says mine is just a mild case anyway or I might run into someone who has dealt with someone with Aspergers before and didn't need this accommodation. The other person with Aspergers might have been hyper-empathic. The accommodation THEY needed may have been a recording device because they had trouble remembering verbal instructions. The accommodations that I would appreciate would be moderation with personal conflicts and as much information as soon as possible about changes that are coming. I don't need a recording device. I remember what you told me out loud 20 years ago and I remember your tone of voice and what words you emphasized.

Diagnosing me "on the spectrum" means "If you need to understand, you need to read my report." That is my specific diagnosis. A word will not do it. You'll need at least a paragraph and really if you want to do well, we should talk about it for 10-15 minutes.