I really don't know how to approach this, since there's a lot still up in the air for me. But I've recently been questioning my gender identity and leaning more towards being gender fluid. Non-conforming at the very least.
Fact of the matter is, while I've always identified as male, that's mostly been a kind of default thing. I do it habitually because it's the safest answer. But I've never had any real attachment to being male, if that makes sense. I used to just brush that off as part of being gray ace.
Recently, though, I've realized it's more complicated than that. I'm not sure how to even really talk about it, because I'm pretty sure I'm not trans, but I also know that I've had thoughts where I wouldn't mind if people call me the 'wrong' pronoun and, like, I've thought a lot about dressing across gender lines. Like, to be clear, I don't want to dress 'like a woman', but I'll be damned if those off-the-shoulder tops don't call out to me.
I'm he/him/any at the moment. Mostly struggling with how to explore this given the society we live in. Also trying to extract myself from decades of habitual self repression, also not helped by the effing society we live in.
So yeah, complicated feelings for sure.