The Mad Ramblings of a Renegade Timelord
- Thread starter The Doctor Who
- Start date
Here you go. It's a little out of date, since I've started working with a separate copy for writing. Something about sharing seems to interfere with editing on mobile.
Oddly it still works fine on PC, so I'll update it weekly with more.
Oddly it still works fine on PC, so I'll update it weekly with more.
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Updated the sharing document and added a link and status on the first post.
You're welcome. Oh and, full disclosure, I didn't copy down the suggestions you made before the forum died.
237 pages now. Moving along a bit slower now that I'm closing in on an ending.
Names in fictional languages are a fussy thing. Sure you can use a descriptive word as a name, but that's not really how names work in the real world, at least, not in a modernistic setting. If ya got a ye olden days Lord of the Rings setting then you could just slap a word down and call it someone's name, but if you're looking at a society that has probably had thousands of years to grow and change, then names probably aren't going to be just 1-to-1 words. Most of the time.
Like, there are people with the last name 'Baker' after all, which genuinely harkens back to the process of baking. But then you also have 'Baxter' which shares the same Anglo-Saxon/Scottish root, means the same thing but started out as the feminine 'bakster', eventually wearing down to 'baxter' and becoming applicable to men and women and sometimes used as a given name.
If you named someone Baxter Baker, you would be committing a tautology.
Names in fictional languages are a fussy thing. Sure you can use a descriptive word as a name, but that's not really how names work in the real world, at least, not in a modernistic setting. If ya got a ye olden days Lord of the Rings setting then you could just slap a word down and call it someone's name, but if you're looking at a society that has probably had thousands of years to grow and change, then names probably aren't going to be just 1-to-1 words. Most of the time.
Like, there are people with the last name 'Baker' after all, which genuinely harkens back to the process of baking. But then you also have 'Baxter' which shares the same Anglo-Saxon/Scottish root, means the same thing but started out as the feminine 'bakster', eventually wearing down to 'baxter' and becoming applicable to men and women and sometimes used as a given name.
If you named someone Baxter Baker, you would be committing a tautology.
Ok, so apparently I saved the notes I made for Chapter 1 and forgot. XD
Ch 1:
And so it was to this last {location} that he found himself walking.
Smaller tables for one to two persons were lined around the outside of the seating, while larger booths and tables were clustered toward the middle. {Bit confusing, maybe rephrase as "larger booths and tables were clustered toward the middle with smaller tables for one to two persons were lined around them."}
A few outer tables were occupied and one larger party and {had} pulled together a pair of larger tables
And so it was to this last {location} that he found himself walking.
Smaller tables for one to two persons were lined around the outside of the seating, while larger booths and tables were clustered toward the middle. {Bit confusing, maybe rephrase as "larger booths and tables were clustered toward the middle with smaller tables for one to two persons were lined around them."}
A few outer tables were occupied and one larger party and {had} pulled together a pair of larger tables
242 pages. I feel like I've slowed down somewhat, though I've still added a plurality of new pages, so I can't feel too bad. If I "only" added five pages this week, I think I'm still doing good. I'm struggling a little with how to introduce larger plot points into the story. Like, while I've definitely focused on just getting the words written down, I don't want the rough draft to be an incoherent mess. It doesn't help that a lot of this revolves around a character I didn't plan on introducing at this point, but it just seemed to make sense for me to do so.
I suppose I should also take into consideration that I've been working a lot of overtime over the last two weeks. So, like, I shouldn't be to surprised if my output slowed down.
I suppose I should also take into consideration that I've been working a lot of overtime over the last two weeks. So, like, I shouldn't be to surprised if my output slowed down.
Writer's block suuuuuuucks
Done w/ ch 2. Still mostly minutia.
General notes: the awkwardness b/t Harry and Edmund is cute. The different ways everyone speaks makes it easier to tell them apart w/out having to name them when they're talking. Also a hint of bad things on the way... Also, I'm assuming we get to know Edmund more along w/ Harry later on.
"I haven’t been to Agustine’s in ages.”
Saint Augustine’s...
{Name typo on one of these}
that lay a few minutes drive from {the} city center.
The initial intimidation he experienced had faded and {in} its place settled
The young man was amazed at how quickly his friend picked up on English pronunciation and was often embarrassed at his {own} relative slowness to learn the new language{.} And {T}his came to a head one evening, a month and a half after their first meeting.
Callahan’s was a large, open{,} saloon{-}style affair
the tall man stood there with caring concern written plainly on his face and even somehow found the heart to give a compliment. Tears began to prick at his eyes.
{I'm assuming you mean Harry's eyes, but it reads as if Edmund is tearing up.}
The young man shook his head and wiped his watery eyes with a caugh {cough}
To live on another planet and learn the history of a completely different culture and people first hand was everything {s}he could have hoped for.
“I guess it did not work out?” Edmond asked{.}
I had friends and a school record and had an in -an opening- at the Harrold Star News office once if I could finish my degree.
Today had given him much to think about. A tone rang out from his pocket...
{The second sentence should be a new paragraph, to better indicate that some time has passed.}
Overflow fell on many of the junior staff, including Harry{,} to handle duties usually managed by higher paid employees and he found himself excessively stressed and overworked
The interior space was decorated with “popular” memorabilia from across the galaxy, for which most of the lighting had been used to highlight and music of some inderserably raucous style
{Bolded word is a typo. Indescribably or undesirable, I'm guessing}
Edmond was looking over one of a pair of menus and the expression on his face told the young man that he was as much out of his depth here as he {Harry} had been in The Ground Level.
Though that, {he} had to admit, may just as easily be due to not having to spend the money.
"I haven’t been to Agustine’s in ages.”
Saint Augustine’s...
{Name typo on one of these}
that lay a few minutes drive from {the} city center.
The initial intimidation he experienced had faded and {in} its place settled
The young man was amazed at how quickly his friend picked up on English pronunciation and was often embarrassed at his {own} relative slowness to learn the new language{.} And {T}his came to a head one evening, a month and a half after their first meeting.
Callahan’s was a large, open{,} saloon{-}style affair
the tall man stood there with caring concern written plainly on his face and even somehow found the heart to give a compliment. Tears began to prick at his eyes.
{I'm assuming you mean Harry's eyes, but it reads as if Edmund is tearing up.}
The young man shook his head and wiped his watery eyes with a caugh {cough}
To live on another planet and learn the history of a completely different culture and people first hand was everything {s}he could have hoped for.
“I guess it did not work out?” Edmond asked{.}
I had friends and a school record and had an in -an opening- at the Harrold Star News office once if I could finish my degree.
Today had given him much to think about. A tone rang out from his pocket...
{The second sentence should be a new paragraph, to better indicate that some time has passed.}
Overflow fell on many of the junior staff, including Harry{,} to handle duties usually managed by higher paid employees and he found himself excessively stressed and overworked
The interior space was decorated with “popular” memorabilia from across the galaxy, for which most of the lighting had been used to highlight and music of some inderserably raucous style
{Bolded word is a typo. Indescribably or undesirable, I'm guessing}
Edmond was looking over one of a pair of menus and the expression on his face told the young man that he was as much out of his depth here as he {Harry} had been in The Ground Level.
Though that, {he} had to admit, may just as easily be due to not having to spend the money.
Good advice in there! I should probably create a document to keep track of it in once place. I don't plan on changing anything just yet, not until I have a full narrative in place. Then I'll look over the suggestions while I'm doing the Big Rewrite.
I'm glad that my characterizations hold up well enough that you can tell people apart. Trying to get non-native speakers of fictional languages to speak in dialect is... uniquely difficult. Jadut and Edmond have to sound like they grew up speaking entirely different languages and struggle with English for entirely different reasons XD
Sadly I've only managed to add a couple pages in the last week. I've been stuck on a particular plot point that I didn't really expect to come up and it's left me struggling a little. It's also been a very busy week, so I haven't had as much time as I would have liked to write. Still, progress is being made. I think I'm going to just push past it and then go on. I have an idea for how to handle it, but not anything exact. Probably have to revisit it in the Rewrite and hopefully my brain will have worked it out by then.
No matter what, I'm not going to give up on this, even if it takes longer than expected. I want this one book written, if nothing else.
Yeah, we do. *goes back to check where Chapter 2 leaves things* Oh. Oooooh. Heh. Yeah, we're going to learn more about both of them in the next couple chapters. I've been trying not to just fact-dump at any point, just let information come up as naturally as possible, but the next two chapters clear some of the air.
I'm glad that my characterizations hold up well enough that you can tell people apart. Trying to get non-native speakers of fictional languages to speak in dialect is... uniquely difficult. Jadut and Edmond have to sound like they grew up speaking entirely different languages and struggle with English for entirely different reasons XD
Sadly I've only managed to add a couple pages in the last week. I've been stuck on a particular plot point that I didn't really expect to come up and it's left me struggling a little. It's also been a very busy week, so I haven't had as much time as I would have liked to write. Still, progress is being made. I think I'm going to just push past it and then go on. I have an idea for how to handle it, but not anything exact. Probably have to revisit it in the Rewrite and hopefully my brain will have worked it out by then.
No matter what, I'm not going to give up on this, even if it takes longer than expected. I want this one book written, if nothing else.
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I think I've managed to force my way through it. It's... Not great to read, but at least the essentials are there.
Basically, I'm at the point of introducing the first overt elements big, overarching plot line and making sure it makes sense without boring plot dumps and unnatural exposition.
Basically, I'm at the point of introducing the first overt elements big, overarching plot line and making sure it makes sense without boring plot dumps and unnatural exposition.
Managed to force my way past the difficult part. It needs major reworking, but I'm getting back onto more solid ground. Still not going as fast as I was before, but I'm still dealing with the more complicated parts of the story, so I'm not surprised.
Not much progress to speak of, been super busy. Still moving forward, though.
Well that was a wretched two months.
Still, I've made some progress and I'm not giving up on this. Mainly, I've run into an unexpected hangup due to characters I didn't anticipate creating. Gotta rethink an entire society to make it all fit together.
Woo! World-building!
Still, I've made some progress and I'm not giving up on this. Mainly, I've run into an unexpected hangup due to characters I didn't anticipate creating. Gotta rethink an entire society to make it all fit together.
Woo! World-building!
Organic storytelling is great, though it's more fun to read than to write XD This story opens up as it goes along and trying to create a sense of scale and weight to the galactic civilization is... daunting. Takes a lot of thought.
I think I'm starting to get my footing again, though. Life settling down and finally giving me time to think definitely helps.
Random Excerpt for Fun:
I think I'm starting to get my footing again, though. Life settling down and finally giving me time to think definitely helps.
Random Excerpt for Fun:
Gazing out the large window, seeing the stars drift by, somehow eased the man’s mind and he sat down in the pilot’s seat and leaned back, hands behind his head. It was hard to believe that they were currently traveling faster than any living being could comprehend and yet the stars were so vastly separated that they still only slowly passed by. It made his troubles seem somehow less immediate and all-consuming. He was but one dot - less than that even - in the entire universe.
He sat up slightly and eyed the stars a little closer. Against the moving background, there was a small cluster of points that did not move. With dawning realization, Kethel knew that he was looking at the Kazzar colony fleet, still very far away but big enough and steady enough against the other points of light to stand out. In the center of the small puff of lights there was one, much larger, just on the edge of being a recognizable shape. It sent a shiver down his spine and out to the tip of his tail.
“It’s an impressive view, eh lad?”
Kethel sat up sharply and bumped his head on the sloped ceiling.
“Sa! Ow.”
Laughing goodnaturedly, the older man gestured for him to sit down.
“No, no, feel free, I had a feelin’ it was you.” he said. “It’s been so long since I traveled with others that I forgot about th’ cabin alarm. Supposed t’ let me know when a crewmate is messin’ with th’ autopilot without permission.”
McClarry sat in the right copilot seat and ran his hand over the cracked armrest, and gave a thoughtful look at the crimson Denevan, who was returning to the pilot’s seat with a distracted air.
“How’s things with your lady friend?” He asked casually.
“It’s… fine.” Kethel responded hesitantly. “We’re fine now. She let me back in.”
“That’s got t’ be a good thing, right?”
“Yeah.”
The stars drifted by and the colony fleet grew imperceptibly closer.
“Amazin’ isn’t it?” John said, nodding at the distant fleet. “We’re still nearly a day out from it, but there it is. And at any moment, they could target us an’ then… we’d be nothin’ more than a whiff’a destabilized molecules.”
“How do we know they won’t?”
McClarry gave Kethel a not-entirely-sane grin.
“Strictly speakin’?” He said. “We don’t. I sent th’ transmission and, if we’re lucky, it was received and we won’t be blown t’ bits as soon as we’re in range.”
The Denevan man half turned in the chair and gave the pilot a dubious look.
“I trust Tasaka, though.” McClarrly said with a more serious tone. “He’s never steered me wrong an’ I’m confident he won’t now.”
The pilot stood and stretched with a yawn.
“In any case, I really should get back t’ bed.” He said. “And so should you. It won’t do t’ be half asleep when we get there.”
“Right.” Kethel murmured, staring absently at the fleet ahead.
He sat up slightly and eyed the stars a little closer. Against the moving background, there was a small cluster of points that did not move. With dawning realization, Kethel knew that he was looking at the Kazzar colony fleet, still very far away but big enough and steady enough against the other points of light to stand out. In the center of the small puff of lights there was one, much larger, just on the edge of being a recognizable shape. It sent a shiver down his spine and out to the tip of his tail.
“It’s an impressive view, eh lad?”
Kethel sat up sharply and bumped his head on the sloped ceiling.
“Sa! Ow.”
Laughing goodnaturedly, the older man gestured for him to sit down.
“No, no, feel free, I had a feelin’ it was you.” he said. “It’s been so long since I traveled with others that I forgot about th’ cabin alarm. Supposed t’ let me know when a crewmate is messin’ with th’ autopilot without permission.”
McClarry sat in the right copilot seat and ran his hand over the cracked armrest, and gave a thoughtful look at the crimson Denevan, who was returning to the pilot’s seat with a distracted air.
“How’s things with your lady friend?” He asked casually.
“It’s… fine.” Kethel responded hesitantly. “We’re fine now. She let me back in.”
“That’s got t’ be a good thing, right?”
“Yeah.”
The stars drifted by and the colony fleet grew imperceptibly closer.
“Amazin’ isn’t it?” John said, nodding at the distant fleet. “We’re still nearly a day out from it, but there it is. And at any moment, they could target us an’ then… we’d be nothin’ more than a whiff’a destabilized molecules.”
“How do we know they won’t?”
McClarry gave Kethel a not-entirely-sane grin.
“Strictly speakin’?” He said. “We don’t. I sent th’ transmission and, if we’re lucky, it was received and we won’t be blown t’ bits as soon as we’re in range.”
The Denevan man half turned in the chair and gave the pilot a dubious look.
“I trust Tasaka, though.” McClarrly said with a more serious tone. “He’s never steered me wrong an’ I’m confident he won’t now.”
The pilot stood and stretched with a yawn.
“In any case, I really should get back t’ bed.” He said. “And so should you. It won’t do t’ be half asleep when we get there.”
“Right.” Kethel murmured, staring absently at the fleet ahead.