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You...you monster. You broke muh baby. *draws a sword* *decapitates Sharkshadow* *drags the lifeless body towards Mayhem McDonalds* Soylent Green is back on special guys! I'll deal with the mountain later.

You should be a walking wifi hotspot by now. Maybe you need a booster booster.

In happier news nobody told the Ahmaud Arbery jury that murder was legal. They're all guilty.

Congrats on full 5G compliance!

Actually the Mayhem McDonald's has the only functioning McD's Ice Cream Machine in the nation. It's a miracle.

Satire can't outfake the news.

No, but the Mayhem McDonalds is the most ethical business running in Mayhem. Funnily enough.

I would pay for lookalike impersonators to go down there and hug with them.

I hope they cut the check directly to Trump and the attorneys still never get paid. Serves them right.

Worst case scenario: he dies a month before the election and America stupidly elects a dead guy, making whatever swamp creature he has as VP the next President. And it sure won't be Mike Pence.

If he has a pulse he's on the ballot in 24. If he doesn't there's a 50% chance of some Weekend At Bernie's jive.

McDonalds: home of grease and regret

Now the big question - which old liberal steps up to fight Trump in a Taekwondo showdown?

*respawns* *delivers 500 pounds of ground beef to the Mayhem McDonalds* lets find out about that Meatloaf. Special baby special!

*24 hours later finally burrows to the top of the mountain* *punt kicks Sharkshadow to the bottom* LAST POST!

Not looking forward to the surge the dumbass right wing is going to get out of this. He probably will wind up in Washington as one of Gaetz's interns. God help us all.

Hey Karrion Kross is down here!

*rushes back up the mountain* *eats an Attitude Adjustment off the mountain* owwww

*tells CoffeeHorse there's a sale on chicken nuggets* *CoffeeHorse goes running down the mountain* LAST POST!

We're giving up. *sends 6 more texts*