Campaign Texts Archive

[Stepwise]

I remember seeing McCain stand up for Obama during his campaign and correct people's misconceptions. Yes, they disagreed on politics, but if the person asking a question or making a comment at the rally was flat-out wrong, he'd correct them.

It'd be so nice to see that level of respect in politics again.

 

[CoffeeHorse]

From Trump: ARE YOU AWAKE YET?

Kamala hauls in $231,000,000 after leading the Biden revolt

Emergency declaration:
10:09 AM

Don't you judge me.

THIS IS A MESSAGE FROM JD VANCE

Want tot take a ride on Trump Force Two?

MEET JD VANCE:
12:32 PM

DON JR: Join the team that Makes America Great Again!

Make an impact on this election & sign up with Trump Force 47.

DON'T WAIT:
2:16 PM

JD VANCE EMERGENCY BROADCAST

The Deep State raised a QUARTER OF A BILLION DOLLARS for Kamala!

Emergency response:
3:25 PM

Kamala raked in $100,000,000 from liberal billionaires

It's JD Vance, I'm organizing an IMMEDIATE response

JOIN:
3:52 PM

Hey, I am Donald Trump

This is the only Official Trump Vance shirt on the market...

ALMOST SOLD OUT:
6:21 PM

From Trump: MAGA MERCH BESTSELLER!

Special Edition trump Flag...

GET ASAP:
8:09 PM

 

[CoffeeHorse]

From Trump: DO YOU LIKE COFFEE?

FEAR NOT, I've got something I want you to see!

Take a look:
10:24 AM

[CoffeeHorse], have you signed the birthday card yet?

It's Trump. JD Vance's birthday is in 7 days!

SIGN CARD:
12:26 PM

ILLEGALS VOTING IN AMERICAN ELECTIONS!

[CoffeeHorse], will you let Democrats do this?

Pres. Trump needs to hear from YOU:
3:12 PM

From Trump: I want to send you a thank you card.

Will you send me a good address?

ANSWER TRUMP:
3:54 PM

We NEED YOU to protect the election!

Join us this Sunday for our Election Integrity National Day of Training:
4:23 PM

From Trump: PLEASE! Endorse me before my rally?

I'm waiting to take the stage until I hear from YOU!

24 HOURS:
6:12 PM

From Trump: I MIGHT WEAR THIS TO JD VANCE'S BIRTHDAY PARTY!

I really like it. Should I pick something different?
8:07 PM

 

[CoffeeHorse]

OBAMA HATES [CoffeeHorse]!

But I'm Donald J. Trump, and I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!

Here's how much you mean to me:
10:12 AM

God's hands protected Trump & him at the Pennsylvania rally - now he wrote a note just
for you: Can you take 2 seconds 2 read it:
11:21 AM

They must have had someone new write that one.

From Trump: [CoffeeHorse], it's Kamala!

She just insulted ALL of MAGA.

My emergency response:
12:48 PM

President Trump needs YOU

[CoffeeHorse], what are you waiting for?

Become a volunteer Poll Worker NOW:
2:41 PM

From Vance: Before tonight's rally, I need to talk to CoffeeHorse.

Can I interview you?

ANSWER QUESTION #1:
3:00 PM

Lara Trump: Have you ever been to a Trump rally?

We want to host the next one in FL!

Tell me if you'd go:
4:06 PM

TOMORROW makes 100 Days until the Election!

Get trained to make it TOO BIG TO RIG:
5:03 PM

From Trump: KAMALA'S WARCHEST REACHES $300 MILLION

She's trying to buy the White House!

Before my rally, read this:
6:07 PM

From Trump: JUST RELEASED!

Camo MAGA Hat. Limited Edition.

Want one? YES or NO
8:20 PM

 

[CoffeeHorse]

From Trump: KAMALA HATES COPS.

She's pledged to defund them!

I love our police!

Here's how we Back the Blue:
10:04 AM

We are 100 days out from the election!

We aren't asking for your money; we need your valuable time.

We need YOUR help HERE:
12:18 PM

From Trump: [CoffeeHorse], will you sign this?

I need 1,000,000 signatures on JD Vance's Birthday Card!

SIGN:
12:41 PM

From Trump: HILLARY CRAWLS OUT OF HER CAVE TO SPIT IN OUR FACE!

Kamala raised ONE HUNDRED MILLION!

My response:
3:29 PM

Pres. Trump has a serious question to ask you.

Now that JD Vance is his VP nominee, will you pledge to vote for them?

REPLY:
3:47 PM

[CoffeeHorse] [CoffeeHorse]

It's Donald Trump, and I've got a secret gift for you!

UNLOCK:
6:20 PM

From Trump: 3 DAYS TO CATCH UP TO KAMALA!

$200 MILLION dirty liberal cash can't outraise you...

STAND WITH TRUMP:
8:14 PM

 

[CoffeeHorse]

[CoffeeHorse], it's Donald Trump!

I signed this poster for you...seriously.

TAKE A PEEK:
10:32 AM

From Trump: [CoffeeHorse], I asked my team to flag your response.

Please don't forget question #3.

FINISH POLL:
12:25 PM

FROM TRUMP: You're the last endorsement I need from FL!

[CoffeeHorse], will you make it official?

ENDORSE:
3:35 PM

FROM LARA TRUMP: [CoffeeHorse], I missed you in my first message.

So I've rescheduled our interview!

Can you help me?
3:51 PM

It's Jen Perelman, your candidate for congress.

My opponent, DWS, is heavily funded by real estate developers, refuses to meet with her constituents on housing. Housing, both renting and owning, is getting more expensive, and our representation isn't doing anything about it. Please mark your calendars and join us for a much needed housing town hall next Monday. I'd love to meet you, hear your concerns, and discuss how we can address them.

Please return your mail in ballot or make a plan to vote for change on August 20th. It's time to pass the torch. Thank you!
5:53 PM

From Trump: I want to remind you about

This hat. Every Republican must own it!

Do you have one yet?

CLAIM NOW:
6:37 PM

From Trump: REQUIRED DEADLINE IN 48 HOURS

Don't let Kamala seize our momentum!

Stand with TRUMP one more time:
8:19 PM

 

[KidTDragon]

From Trump: [CoffeeHorse], I asked my team to glaf your response

"Glaf"?

 

[CoffeeHorse]

Good catch. That should be 'flag'.

From Trump: I'm giving you a Gold MAGA Hat.

LAST FEW IN EXISTENCE!

Order now & I might sign it for you:
10:14 AM

From Trump: IN 24 HOURS ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE!

Lamala raised $250 MILLION & my deadline is tomorrow.

Read NOW:
12:27 PM

JD VANCE WANTS TO HEAR FROM YOU!

It's Donald Trump & I saved you a spot on his birthday card

2 DAYS LEFT TO SIGN:
2:52 PM

JD Vance: I need a minute of your time.

Only you can give me the answers I need, [CoffeeHorse].

Respond:
2:43 PM

From Trump: I canceled all of my plans.

[CoffeeHorse], can we take a trip together?

CONFIRM RESERVATION:
6:11 PM

From Trump: KAMALA'S BILLIONAIRES WON'T LEAVE US IN THE DUST

I have something MUCH MORE POWERFUL!

Here's my plan:
7:49 PM

 

[CoffeeHorse]

PLEASE, [CoffeeHorse]! It's JD Vance & I can't hold your spot for long.

Trump Life Membership closes in 45 MINS:

10:07 AM

Vance, trust me. These memberships never close.

From Trump: GUESS WHOSE BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP

My great VP pick JD Vance!

Want to sign his card?
12:35 PM

JD Vance: [CoffeeHorse], I'd be honored to have your endorsement.

With you by my side, we will SAVE AMERICA!

ENDORSE:
3:07 PM

From Trump: 2,000,000 ENDORSEMENTS NEEDED TODAY!

[CoffeeHorse], have I earned your vote?

ANSWER BEFORE MY RALLY:
3:49 PM

This is Chairman Whatley and I need your help to ensure safe and fair elections. Will you join me, [CoffeeHorse]?
4:06 PM

From Trump: THIS HAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN MY FAMOUS RED MAGA HAT!

I know it's hard to believe...

CHECK IT OUT:
6:03 PM

It's a Trump-Vance hat. I am skeptical.

From Trump: TIME IS UP

Please, my first end-of-month deadline with JD Vance is just hours away!

STAND WITH TRUMP:
8:07 PM

 

[wonko the sane?]

You actually might want to get the trump/vance hat, if only to remind the world of the five minutes the couch fucker was actually a veep contender.

 

[CoffeeHorse]

Vance took my job. I don't want his hat.

From Trump: Do you want to work together?

I've got the perfect job for [CoffeeHorse]!

JOIN MY BOARD:
10:22 AM

Hey, it's Nick with Greenpeace USA. We're being sued by Big Oil for $300 million - I need your help to stop it.

Energy Transfer, the company behind the Dakota Access Pipeline, claims we organized the 2016 Standing Rock resistance - an attempt to erase Indigenout leadership from this historic protest. If we lose, we could face financial ruin.

Can you sign our open letter calling on Energy Transfer to drop this abusive suit?
10:43 AM

From Trump: STOP!

This could be your last chance to own a Red MAGA Shirt...

ALMOST SOLD OUT!

CLAIM ASAP:
12:22 PM

From Trump: I'M HANDING THIS TO JD VANCE TOMORROW!

[CoffeeHorse], did you sign his birthday card?

Leave a note:
3:21 PM

Don Jr: Let me be the first to congratulate you, [CoffeeHorse]

YOU'RE A MAGA LIVING LEGEND!

Accept nomination:
3:55 PM

From Trump: KAMALA'S VP PICK...

Could be announced tomorrow!

So I need your response TODAY:
6:23 PM

FROM TRUMP: Here's the password for my new merch

"USA"

Unlock Now:
8:26 PM

 

[CoffeeHorse]

From Trump: I WANT YOUR ENDORSEMENT NOW

Kamala has D-list celebrities & Hollywood "elites."

I only need YOU:
10:13 AM

[CoffeeHorse], President Trump signed this himself for you

It's a rare Gold MAGA Hat.

ENTER HERE IF YOU WANT IT:
1:37 PM

[CoffeeHorse] [CoffeeHorse] [CoffeeHorse]

I'm Trump & I can't take the stage until I hear from YOU!

24 HOURS:
3:22 PM

The future Vice President wants to speak with you!

Before his schedule fills up...

BEGIN INTERVIEW:
3:46 PM

From Trump: MY OFFICIAL PRESIDENTIAL PIN

Wear this on election day when I become President AGAIN!

CLAIM:
5:49 PM

From Trump: MY NEVER SURRENDER SHIRT

[CoffeeHorse] you need this!

Released when I was labeled a felon.

CLAIM:
8:01 PM

 

[KidTDragon]

Kamala has D-list celebrities & Hollywood "elites."

And Trump has Hulk Hogan and Kid Rock; two past-their-primes who wish they were still relevant enough to be considered "D-list".

 

[Ungnome]

Yea, not sure how they are classifying d-list, The 'elites' she does have most of, though.

 

[The Mighty Mollusk]

And Trump has Hulk Hogan and Kid Rock; two past-their-primes who wish they were still relevant enough to be considered "D-list".

Ah yes, Terry Gene Bollea and Robert James Ritchie, who are very against people being able to change their names and identities.

 

[Ungnome]

Silly Mollusk. Changing your name is fine, it's changing both your name AND the gender marker that they don't like. Besides, if you're rich the rules shouldn't apply to you anyway.

 

[CoffeeHorse]

JD Vance: [CoffeeHorse], I almost forgot

Before my rally later, will you sit down for a one-on-one interview?

BEGIN:
10:14 AM

I need your opinion.

It's Trump. I need to know if I should wear this on stage.

PLEASE!

MAGA FREEDOM HAT:
12:50 PM

JD Vance: President Trump and I trust you!

We want [CoffeeHorse] to be a Poll Worker in FL!

Sign up TODAY:
2:12 PM

From Trump: I'll be looking for [CoffeeHorse]!

I want to thank supporters who step up before my rally.

2 HOURS:
3:16 PM

You've heard from:

Kellyanne Conway
Don Jr.
Lara Trump
Tim Scott

They need you to take our Platform Audit ASAP:
3:51 PM

The convention was weeks ago. Shouldn't the platform be finalized by now?

From Trump: KAMALA JUST WENT ON A SPENDING SPREE

Is she announcing her VP Pick?

Read my response:
6:33 PM

FROM TRUMP: There's a leak in Kamala's campaign!

I know exactly who her Vice President will be.

MY SECURE MEMO:
8:11 PM

 

[CoffeeHorse]

From Trump: KAMALA'S MINION VP ANNOUNCED TODAY?

PLEASE, are you voting for me a third time?

ANSWER:
10:07 AM

From Trump: FILL OUT YOUR TRUMP SAMPLE BALLOT

Trump v. Harris...

VOTE:
12:35 PM

It's not a sample ballot. It's one of their hilariously slanted polls. The possible answers to every question are "PRESIDENT TRUMP - MAGA" and "DANGEROUSLY LIBERAL KAMALA".

From Trump: I'M GIVING YOU TOP SECRET CLEARANCE

{CoffeeHorse], join me for a ride on Trump Force Two.

PICK SEAT:
2:53 PM

Okay, but you have to tell me about the aliens. I am willing to lie about it for the rest of my life.

JD Vance: President Trump told me all about you!

I had to meet [CoffeeHorse] in person.

Let's take a trip together:
3:53 PM

[CoffeeHorse]...

It's President Trump, and I thought I'd offer you a signed poster!

TAKE A LOOK:
5:34 PM

From Trump: I'M WEARING THIS TOMORROW

Do you want one?

Backstage look:
7:53 PM

 

[KidTDragon]

It's not a sample ballot. It's one of their hilariously slanted polls. The possible answers to every question are "PRESIDENT TRUMP - MAGA" and "DANGEROUSLY LIBERAL KAMALA".

And you selected "DANGEROUSLY LIBERAL KAMALA" for every question, right?

 

[CoffeeHorse]

You can't the polls unless you donate. And they really hope you don't notice the "Make this a recurring donation" button that's checked by default.

From Trump: PLEASE!

Please tell me you'll at least answer question 1.

Take my MAGA POLL now:
10:17 AM

[CoffeeHorse], what time should I pick you up?

It's Trump & I booked us a special trip together!

THE ITINERARY:
12:20 PM

From Trump: I LOVE [CoffeeHorse] LIKE FAMILY!

I've wanted to say this to you for a long time.

Read my letter:
3:22 PM

Again, the awkward shift from ALL CAPS to my name is exactly how the text is formatted.

Pres. Trump has a serious question to ask you.

Now that JD Vance is his VP nominee, will you pledge to vote for them?

REPLY:
4:00 PM

This picture of Kamala pisses me off.

It's JD Vance.

Let me explain:
5:45 PM

For the record, it's a picture of her wearing a $62,000 necklace.

From Trump: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

This is the shirt you've been waiting for.

VERY LIMITED!

Trump Fight Shirt:
7:51 PM