Nosy Neighbors

[Broadside]

I live in an apartment with very thin walls where sound passes through very easily and you can hear what’s going on next door.

I value my privacy and I keep to myself and I don’t want to interact and talk to anybody. I mind my own business.

My next door neighbor does not like this and keeps tapping on our common wall to annoy me, even for hours nonstop in the middle of the night.

What should I do? I believe he’s trying to provoke me and draw me into a confrontation. I guess some people need attention and can’t stand that I want to ignore them and keep my life private.

 

[Caldwin]

12 gauge with 00 buckshot. Works every time. If you want a little extra flare, dragons breath is a thing.

 

[Broadside]

12 gauge with 00 buckshot. Works every time. If you want a little extra flare, dragons breath is a thing.

I’m hoping I can just ignore him and that he w eventually get tired and stop.

I want to live a quiet, peaceful, tranquil, and private life.

People pick on me, and they don’t take me seriously when I attempt to fight back and stand up for myself. They just laugh at me and pick on me even more.

I don’t think standing up to a bully works for everyone if you are passive, weak, small, or slow. The bully wants that kind of person to try to fight back because they know they have them beat.

 

[CoffeeHorse]

Shared walls are an abomination. The guy is sorta intruding into your space, but all the activity is occurring on his side of the wall, so he's untouchable.

Unfortunately, all you can do is do something even more annoying every time he taps. You must do it every time he taps, and only when he taps. It needs to be obvious so he knows you know, but he can't confront you about it without explaining that it happens every time he's tapping.

 

[Broadside]

Shared walls are an abomination. The guy is sorta intruding into your space, but all the activity is occurring on his side of the wall, so he's untouchable.

Unfortunately, all you can do is do something even more annoying every time he taps. You must do it every time he taps, and only when he taps. It needs to be obvious so he knows you know, but he can't confront you about it without explaining that it happens every time he's tapping.

I don’t want to play into my neighbor’s hands. I think he wants to be friends with me for some reason.

And I just want to keep to myself and be left alone. I think this makes him mad and he feels rejected. Maybe he’s gay or he sees me as gullible, I really don’t know.

So I have a feeling he wants me to do something back so he knows he’s getting to me, getting under my skin, grating on my nerves, breaking me down.

 

[Ultra Magnus13]

This sounds like paranoia.

There is no reason to think this malicious or intentional.

The wall may be next to his bed and he idly taps his foot when falling asleep, or while sleeping.

It may be behind his couch and he absent mindedly drums his fingers while watching tv.

They may have a cat who lays next to it flicking its tail.

If it bothers you so much leave a polite note.

"Sorry to bother you, but I've noticed that in the middle of the night there is often a tapping on our shared wall (describe the wall so he knows which one you are talking about). This has been causing me difficulty in getting to sleep at night. If there is something that could be moved, adjusted or rearranged to prevent it, I would greatly appreciate it.

Thank you"

 

[Broadside]

This sounds like paranoia.

There is no reason to think this malicious or intentional.

The wall may be next to his bed and he idly taps his foot when falling asleep, or while sleeping.

It may be behind his couch and he absent mindedly drums his fingers while watching tv.

They may have a cat who lays next to it flicking its tail.

If it bothers you so much leave a polite note.

"Sorry to bother you, but I've noticed that in the middle of the night there is often a tapping on our shared wall (describe the wall so he knows which one you are talking about). This has been causing me difficulty in getting to sleep at night. If there is something that could be moved, adjusted or rearranged to prevent it, I would greatly appreciate it.

Thank you"

I’ve been living there for years, and he’s been living there even longer. I used to talk to him until we had a falling out. He was getting too personal, so I cut off contact. Ever since then he’s been trying to make me feel uncomfortable for ignoring and avoiding him.

I can understand if I had just moved in and did not have any interactions with him. But this has been an ongoing feud.

 

[Videomaster21XX]

The only option I can think of if you just want to ignore him is to get some sort of noise cancelling headphones. Or earplugs. I can't do earplugs myself so I'm not sure if you can either.

Not the most comfortable things to sleep with, so that could be an issue. But if you aren't willing to confront/talk to them about any of this, then I don't see what other options you have.

Unless you have the money to just straight up move, or stay somewhere else for a bit. It's either get ready to engage with them, or put up with it.

 

[Broadside]

The only option I can think of if you just want to ignore him is to get some sort of noise cancelling headphones. Or earplugs. I can't do earplugs myself so I'm not sure if you can either.

Not the most comfortable things to sleep with, so that could be an issue. But if you aren't willing to confront/talk to them about any of this, then I don't see what other options you have.

Unless you have the money to just straight up move, or stay somewhere else for a bit. It's either get ready to engage with them, or put up with it.

I put on wireless earphones and fall asleep listening to podcasts.

During the day, when he taps on the wall, I put on wired earphones and watch YouTube videos.

That works for me.

I’m just wondering if he will eventually stop, give up, and move on with his life.

I can’t afford to move. I’m just wondering if I’m in any real danger or if he poses any real physical threat, or if it’s just psychological warfare.

If I’m not in any real danger, if what he’s doing is harmless, I’d rather just ignore it.

Thanks for your understanding and advice. I’ve never been able to stop someone from bullying me by engaging with them. They just beat me down more. The only thing that has worked for me is avoidance until life allows me to either get away from them permanently or circumstances somehow change where they get removed from my orbit.

Most people scold and criticize me saying why don’t I just stand up for myself and they will back off but that has never worked for me. They just laugh at me, enjoy hearing that they are bothering me, and bully me even more than before.

 

[Videomaster21XX]

How long has the tapping been going on? Like how many days? Have they been at this for a month or two? If it's only been a short while then I'd say if they aren't getting any response at all, hopefully they'll just give up.

Just speaking hypothetically. Since I don't know who this person is. I have no idea what they might be feeling or thinking. They could be doing this to annoy you as you say, or they could be worried about you and think trying to get you to 'engage' is helping.

The thing I'm concerned with is if the tapping continues for a while and gets no results, they may escalate into doing something else. Some more extreme to get a reaction.

I don't want to spark any paranoia, I just want you to consider that and keep it in mind as a possibility so you might be ready for it IF it happens.

Personally I think just tapping on a wall to annoy someone is petty and if you are doing something that gets no reaction, the most likely outcome is they'll get bored.

 

[Broadside]

How long has the tapping been going on? Like how many days? Have they been at this for a month or two? If it's only been a short while then I'd say if they aren't getting any response at all, hopefully they'll just give up.

Just speaking hypothetically. Since I don't know who this person is. I have no idea what they might be feeling or thinking. They could be doing this to annoy you as you say, or they could be worried about you and think trying to get you to 'engage' is helping.

The thing I'm concerned with is if the tapping continues for a while and gets no results, they may escalate into doing something else. Some more extreme to get a reaction.

I don't want to spark any paranoia, I just want you to consider that and keep it in mind as a possibility so you might be ready for it IF it happens.

Personally I think just tapping on a wall to annoy someone is petty and if you are doing something that gets no reaction, the most likely outcome is they'll get bored.

I hope you’re right. I’d say a month sounds right that it’s been going on.

I googled this issue and it brought up Reddit posts on neighbors tapping on the wall to annoy their next door neighbors.

The consensus seemed to be to ignore it and that they would eventually stop.

But I get your warning that you never know what’s going on in other people’s heads. So I’ll need to be cautious.

Thank you for your understanding!