Quotes

[Caldwin]

Trevor: I'll come back later. See if you can find some beer.

Sypha: I could pee in a bucket and tell him it's beer.

-----

Alucard: Oh please! We're not children.

Sypha: (leaves)

Trevor: Eat jive and die.

Alucard: Yes, hug you.

-----

Trevor: I terrify them, Sypha disorients them, Alucard goes over the top and we support him.

-----

Sypha: jive!

Trevor: What did you just say?

Sypha: I said jive, okay?

Trevor: Yes, it's just that you never...you know...curse.

Sypha: I never used to. And then all this happened and then you happened.

Trevor: Me?

Sypha: Yes you! I was nice! And then I met you and now I'm like you.

Trevor: Oh, so it's my fault!

Sypha: It's all your fault. You did this to me.

Trevor: I found you turned into a statue in a ******* tomb!

Sypha: And climbed all over me and since that moment, everything has been jive and...I'M ******* TALKING HERE! You turned me into someone who says "jive." ****ity jive hairy arse-warts giant slimy balls...jive!

 

[The Mighty Mollusk]

"Practical, smart, and a little bit evil."
"I'm the chief financial officer. Those exact words are in my resume."

 

[The Mighty Mollusk]

"If it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable hatred. It was cold, not like ice is cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal, not as a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly - again, not like a bullet or a knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across a motorway is deadly."

 

[Paladin]

What's the difference between Betty White & Paul Walker?

Spoiler

Walker hit a hundred before he died.

 

[The Mighty Mollusk]

"You know, you remind me a little of my fourth wife."
"Oh? Was she a redhead too?"
"No, but she had the most magnificent set of perky round--"
"Eyes. Let's pretend you were about to say eyes."
"Fair enough."

 

[Caldwin]

Question
What do you call the person who graduated last in law school?

Spoiler: Answer

Your honor.

 

[Paladin]

What borders on complete stupidity?

Spoiler

Canada and Mexico.

 

[Caldwin]

What borders on complete stupidity?

Spoiler

Canada and Mexico.

Now wait just one dang se....

Yeah, yeah, that's fair.

 

[NovaSaber]

“There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there has always been. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.”


“When stupidity is considered patriotism, it is unsafe to be intelligent.”


“What would you consider a good job?" Answered as follows:
"A good job is one in which I don't have to work, and get paid a lot of money."
When I heard that I cheered and yelled and felt that he should be given an A+, for he had perfectly articulated the American dream of those who despise knowledge. What a politician that kid would have made.”


“Many years later he looked through one of my books and said, "How did you learn all this, Isaac?"
"From you, Pappa", I said.
"From me? I don't know any of this".
"You didn't have to, Pappa", I said. "You valued learning and you taught me to value it. Once I learned to value it, the rest came without trouble.”


“When people thought the Earth was flat, they were wrong. When people thought the Earth was spherical they were wrong. But if you think that thinking the Earth is spherical is just as wrong as thinking the Earth is flat, then your view is wronger than both of them put together”


“History was interesting to the extent that it was catastrophic and, while that might make absorbing viewing, it made horrible living.”

(All said by Isaac Asimov.)

 

[DefaultOption]

“One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we’ve been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We’re no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. It’s simply too painful to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we’ve been taken. Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back.” ― Carl Sagan

 

[The Mighty Mollusk]

"The tree of liberty must be periodically watered with blood and mulched with detached limbs and pruned using shears made from bones! It's my favorite tree!"

 

[Destron D-69]

"I like chicken, I like liver..mewmix mewmix please deliver" -Doctor Evil

 

[The Mighty Mollusk]

"Do you want the bad news or the good news first?"
"I dunno.....the good news, I guess--"
"THERE IS NO GOOD NEWS! Just bad news and weird news."