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I'm not so sure. Then again, I'm not entirely sure he knows what he's saying either. Especially the parts about the founding fathers promoting shows of faith when several of them were quite vocally against it. But since when have conservatives let facts or history get in the way of their ranting.

Even if a guard didn't do it personally, at least a couple must've been involved.

As long as he pays his ticket and doesn't break anything, the attendants aren't gonna say no.

It's easier to believe there's some kind of shadowy cabal manipulating everything that they can't really stop, than it is to believe in the open cabal manipulating everything in plain sight that they could totally stop if they didn't keep voting for douchenozzles. One way lets them evade any...

Most of his base are total morons. The rest are total assholes who jumped on the bandwagon just to watch him piss other people off. Either way, though, it doesn't actually matter what he says or does at this point.

SCIENCE!

You only need one hand to roll anyway.

He was literally imprisoned for his active role in an attempted insurrection. Can he even legally run for office at all?

Dealing with super powered teenagers will do that, as you know.

Hero of Destiny nothing, go collect twenty bear asses.

Complaining. About everything.

"Brother, I've heard my share of stories about your homeland. But I'd also heard that you once fought in a tournament." "I fought in many contests." "But this particular one... I heard you did battle with beasts, scoundrels, princesses, the undead, automatons, and... history's greatest musician...

Here ya go, high in fiber and plot devices.

A group of Springers is called a coil.

Heaven won't take him and Hell has standards. Same for McConnell.

Maybe we'll get lucky and his terrible health will catch up with him first. The courts don't seem willing to just lock him up despite his constant and blatant verbal attacks.

Doubtful, considering they don't even try to match the rest of the sculpt.

That's a nice record you got there. Be a shame if someone broke it.