I'm going to bed. I'm going in one more time tomorrow unless they call before then. They're going to take him off the sedative and whatever happens happens.
Mental Health and Suicide
- Thread starter Caldwin
- Start date
I am so very sorry. Spend what time with him that you can.
They insist that I be out of the room for a minute, so I'm checking in. Maybe my only Allspark post of the day.
Appointment was for 11:00 AM yesterday. Still here. He is long gone but his heart will not stop.
I did not sleep. These are both for me.
I'm so very sorry, Fnu. We're all here for you. We care about you.
I had to go home because my body was calling it quits. I wanted to stay until the last heartbeat for some reason but I'm hurting, and if he could still speak he would be telling me to go. All that's left is a barely beating heart that failed a few days ago and he still has more stamina than I do. I will never know a stronger man.
Sometimes, a family member in their final moments can sense other family around them. They don't want family to see them pass, so they wait til everyone has left the room. This happened with my own dad when he passed.
Same thing happened with an elderly man I knew. We were there for him as well, but he also waited until everyone stepped out of the room to depart this world.
I think, perhaps, your dad wants to spare you the pain of watching him pass, Fnu. He may not be awake, but he knows.
Again, I'm so sorry.
Same thing happened with an elderly man I knew. We were there for him as well, but he also waited until everyone stepped out of the room to depart this world.
I think, perhaps, your dad wants to spare you the pain of watching him pass, Fnu. He may not be awake, but he knows.
Again, I'm so sorry.
You know, my dog did that. He hit a point when I just knew he wasn't going to last the night. I phoned my parents to visit him because he loved them and they were not going to get another chance. He was happy to see them for a bit, but something was off. He had a look in his eyes that said he was ready for them to leave. He usually didn't want their visits to end, so that was significant. He relaxed after they left. Then he wanted me to leave too, so I went to bed to pretend to myself that I was going to sleep. Once during the night he called my name (as best as his dog mouth could) to roll him over. Yes, he learned to communicate well enough to tell me when to roll him from side to side so he didn't get sore. He was great. But the he was ready for me to give him his space again, so I went back to bed. In the morning he was gone. He wanted the assistance I provided but he also wanted to be alone when it happened.
I overworked myself back then too, and I never really got over it, but this is on another level. I had over a year to think about this but nothing could have prepared me for the way things crashed right when we were supposed to be winning. I had already told people all the good news. He'd heard all the good news. Then this. It's so cruel.
I'm going to sleep for the first time in I have no idea how long. Days aren't individual things anymore.
I overworked myself back then too, and I never really got over it, but this is on another level. I had over a year to think about this but nothing could have prepared me for the way things crashed right when we were supposed to be winning. I had already told people all the good news. He'd heard all the good news. Then this. It's so cruel.
I'm going to sleep for the first time in I have no idea how long. Days aren't individual things anymore.
December 8, 2023, 10:45 AM.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Well... did right by him until the very last. We're proud of you man.
No words. Just know we all love you and are here for you. Losing my dad was the hardest thing I ever went through and that was sudden. Can't imagine going through it like you have. You're the strongest person I know.
Hang in there friend.
Hang in there friend.
What everyone else has said. My heart goes out to you, Fnu.
Thanks everyone. I don't know how I could have done what I did for as long as I did if I didn't have somewhere to talk. I couldn't go anywhere. Nurses asked me how I was doing what I was doing. I think it was this place.