Mental Health and Suicide

[CoffeeHorse]

Every time I have a real in-person conversation I get stuck in a loop the rest of the day reliving it, trying to do it better. It doesn't stop until I go to sleep and reboot.

And then I forget that I'm just remembering, and start having the conversation out loud until something snaps me out of it.

 

[CoffeeHorse]

I doubt I need to explain why my avatar was blacked out today.

I dreamed about the hospital last night. The biological clock is amazing. My body knew it was the anniversary.

 

[Caldwin]

Hope today's better for you.

 

[CoffeeHorse]

Much better. The anniversary is passed. I'll feel it again next year.

 

[wonko the sane?]

And you'll feel it a little less harshly.

 

[CoffeeHorse]

Maybe. But dreams and flashbacks have a way of keeping things fresh. There's a few moments I keep reliving, trying to find some clue I missed before everything came crashing down.

 

[wonko the sane?]

This is something every does to some extent, and is a perfectly natural human reaction.

When you find yourself in one of those moments: ask yourself; will finding something NOW change what happened then?

Remember, honour, try to live up to. But dwelling on things you cannot change does nothing for you. Considering I don't really know your dad, but gonna say this anyway; would your dad want you to be doing it?

 

[CoffeeHorse]

That is a good question.

I don't know. I know, but I don't know. I kinda don't want to know. Nothing good can come of knowing. But I need to know.

 

[CoffeeHorse]

Just when I think I can breathe, I get hit by another avalanche of BS my lawyer should have helped me with. It never ends.