Quotes

[The Mighty Mollusk]

"War isn't Hell. War is war, and Hell is Hell. And of the two, war is a lot worse."
"How do you figure, Hawkeye?"
"Easy, Father. Tell me, who goes to Hell?"
"Sinners, I believe."
"Exactly. There are no innocent bystanders in Hell. War is chock full of them - little kids, cripples, old ladies. In fact, except for some of the brass, almost everybody involved is an innocent bystander."

 

[Caldwin]

That was for Thane, you son of a bitch!

 

[Caldwin]

Even though you are competent, appear to be incompetent. Though effective, appear to be ineffective.

When you are going to attack nearby, make it look as if you are going to go a long way; when you are going to attack far away, make it look as if you are going just a short distance.

Draw them in with the prospect of gain, take them by confusion.

 

[CoffeeHorse]

Bravo Sun.

 

[Spin-Out]

"For evil bastards to win power, all ordinary people have to do is stand aside and keep quiet. There's always a choice."

"War isn't Hell. War is war, and Hell is Hell. And of the two, war is a lot worse."
"How do you figure, Hawkeye?"
"Easy, Father. Tell me, who goes to Hell?"
"Sinners, I believe."
"Exactly. There are no innocent bystanders in Hell. War is chock full of them - little kids, cripples, old ladies. In fact, except for some of the brass, almost everybody involved is an innocent bystander."

i love mash so much.

 

[The Mighty Mollusk]

"I wouldn't say necessarily that we fight crime so much as we... take care of problems that need to be solved with violence."

 

[The Mighty Mollusk]

"If you're going to be out late fighting evil, you need to call home first!"
"That's right. It affects our ability to plan supper and alibis."

 

[Patch]

Elmo the Elk: "According to my files, between your first two efforts of employment, you two have wreaked all kinds of havoc, acted recklessly and without any regards for others, made horrible decisions, endangered women and children and farm animals and ruined many, many lives... but these qualifications are perfect for the next job!"
Eek the Cat: "Perfect for what job, Mr. Elmo?"
Elmo: "Why, the job of United States Congressmen, of course!"

 

[Caldwin]

Spock: You must shoot. If you are logical, you must shoot.

Valeris: I do not want t.

Spock: What you want is irrelevant. What you've chosen is at hand.

 

[Sharkshadow]

Vampire King, you lay upon the blood soaked dirt of your ruined land. Castles plundered, dominions in ruin, servants destroyed, all to end the hell-fire with which you sought to cover the world. Thou bloody conquest having consumed hundreds of thousands, countless villages razed to the ground, and over 20,000 impaled and prostrated, by you, and you alone, to strike horror in the hearts of men! What say you, monster, demon-devil conceived by the bleakest womb? What say you NOW?

 

[The Mighty Mollusk]

Vampire King, you lay upon the blood soaked dirt of your ruined land. Castles plundered, dominions in ruin, servants destroyed, all to end the hell-fire with which you sought to cover the world. Thou bloody conquest having consumed hundreds of thousands, countless villages razed to the ground, and over 20,000 impaled and prostrated, by you, and you alone, to strike horror in the hearts of men! What say you, monster, demon-devil conceived by the bleakest womb? What say you NOW?

The aristocrats.

 

[The Mighty Mollusk]

"Never fight until you have to. But when it's time to fight, you fight like you're the third monkey on the ramp to Noah's Ark....and brother, it's starting to rain."

 

[Caldwin]

I wanted to redecorate, you know, a couple throw pillows, a tv news reporter, whatta ya think?

Wugga, Wugga, Gaijin--it's go time!

Goongala! Goongala!

Yes, we can bleed...and so can you!

We strike hard and fade away...into the night.

Cowabunga,

 

[Caldwin]

I was traveling with a copy of the Hitch Hiker's Guide to Europe by Ken Walsh, a very battered copy that I had borrowed from someone. In fact, since this was 1971 and I still have the book, it must count as stolen by now.

I think that the BBC's attitude towards the show while it was in production was very similar to that which Macbeth had towards murdering people - initial doubts, followed by cautious enthusiasm and then greater and greater alarm at the sheer scale of the undertaking and still no end in sight.

'Myself, I'd trust him to the end of the Earth,' said Ford.
'Oh, yes,' said Arthur, 'and how far's that?'
'About twelve minutes away,' said Ford. 'Come on, I need a drink.'

Here's what The Encyclopaedia Galactica has to say about alcohol. It says that alcohol is a colourless volatile liquid formed by the fermentation of sugars and also notes its intoxicating effect on certain carbon-based life forms
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. [a detailed explanation of the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, where to get it and how to mix one yourself]
The Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy sells rather better than the Encyclopaedia Galactica.



Please no spoilers. I've seen the movie, but I'm only on chapter 5 of the book.

 

[The Mighty Mollusk]

"So tell me what you want. What are you fighting for?"
"I guess I'm fighting for us. For all of us."
"That's a lot of responsibility."
"People are messy, awkward, sometimes selfish and cruel. But they're trying, and I'm gonna make sure they have a chance."

 

[Caldwin]

The Enrichment Center promises to always provide a safe testing environment. In dangerous testing environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice. For instance: the floor here will kill you. Try to avoid it.

Sorry about the mess. I’ve really let the place go since you killed me.

Momentum, a function of mass and velocity, is conserved between portals. In layman’s terms, speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out.

Well done. Here come the test results: You are a horrible person...I'm serious, that's what it says: "A horrible person." We weren't even testing for that. Don't let that horrible-person thing discourage you. It's just a data point...If it makes you feel any better, science has now validated your birth mother's decision to abandon you on a doorstep.

How Are You Holding Up? Because I’m A Potato.

Okay. Look. We both said a lot of things that you're going to regret.

 

[Sharkshadow]

Explain it to me like im a dumb kid
sir i am the dumb kid.

 

[The Mighty Mollusk]

"I AM URDNOT WREX, AND THIS! IS MY! PLANET!"

 

[Caldwin]

Alright, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back. Get mad. I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager. Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons. Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down...with the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down.

 

[The Mighty Mollusk]

"What's this? Is it edible? I haven't eaten in minutes..."