I'm doing mostly okay. It's both horrible, and yet stupidly covenant luck that this happened at the beginning of my vacation. On one hand that's a really REALLY crappy way to start a vacation.
On the other hand, it means I can mourn and not worry about work, because holy hell I was not going Friday, and I have no idea if I would have felt like it Sunday either.
We had two cats. Rally who is the one that sadly passed away and Shade, a big Siamese who was mostly confound to my room downstairs (which is a basement den, so decent sized) We had a pet gate at the top of the stairs to separate them because Rally would hiss and moan if Shade got near her for the longest time. It seemed she was finally calming down, but I wanted to take trying to get rid of the gate slowly. Well, that happened a lot faster than I would have liked.
Shade being here takes a bit of the edge off. It's nice still having a concerned fluff ball coming up to you for pets, but the house really does feel a bit emptier. I used to come home from work and Rally would run up knowing it meant she got a soft treat. Gonna have to get used to that not being a thing.
What gets me the most is just how fast it all went down. She seemed fine that Thursday morning. The only thing she ever let us see was that she'd stick her rear leg out straight when she sat down, which looked weird and prompted us to get her checked out in the first place. I wasn't there for the vet visits, but was told they basically thought/hoped she just strained something, and some medicine would help her heal. After it did nothing, my roommate planned another check up that Thursday.
The day started normal. I was even making tuna for lunch and she came up and sat there, eager for some. But I couldn't give her any because she had a vet visit and she tended to stress poop in her carrier, so we were trying to avoid that.
She went and I basically got a call from my roommate saying we might have to say goodbye to her soon. I could hear her meow over the phone. Came to find out it was likely a cancer and she probably didn't have much time. We could pay like 800 bucks or so to figure out what kind of cancer it was and try to treat it, but it'd only grant us at best a few months more time. At worst a few weeks. We decided it wasn't worth putting Rally through that pain, and though it bleeping killed us. We scheduled stuff for Sunday for her last day. But she didn't get that. I guess the stress of the vet visit pushed her past any facade she was putting up. It got worse and worse the moment she was home. She couldn't and wouldn't eat. Not even some tuna I saved for her. She was throwing up bile. She just kinda laid around in some of her favorite spots making little mews if you came close.
We ended up doing an anime stream that night just to let our watchers know it was the last time they might get to see Rally. Also to basically distract ourselves.
She was in the hallway last time I saw her alive. I petted her a bit and went down stairs closing the gate. She meowed at me as I left. As if she knew it was the last time we'd see each other. Then I got up around 6am for the bathroom and found out from my roommate that she was gone. We pulled her out from under his bed, and she wasn't moving.
I've never seen my roommate cry before.
He took her to go get burial stuff done. I'm not sure still if we really got her cremated or not. I know he was thinking about it. I haven't really felt like bringing it up with him just yet. It's been a week now and I still feel a bit numb. I've just played a few videogames to take my mind off it, and catch up with anime. Any writing I planned to do this week was shot. I don't have it in me.
I definitely think my writing it out helps me personally, so I thank you for letting me ramble a bit like this. She will be missed dearly, and I'm not looking forward to answering my co-workers at work how my 'vacation' went...